I’ve been SO blessed this week! Seriously, SOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOoooo BLESSED! I have seen so many things through other people, nature, circumstances that confirm to me over and over again that MY GOD IS REAL and that He wants me to know it and be happy! One of my very best friends even gave me a great honor in the speech he delivered to the students at graduation last night. I was so moved that he used me as an example for the graduates. After such a time of blessing, though, it seems I’m under major attack. It’s crazy how the great wonderful things in my mind get all twisted and turned and seem almost to be completely flushed out of my head. If you could see in my brain sometimes, there is a war going on! I fight emotions and insecurities. I push down thoughts of failure and I try my best to blow away memories that tie me down.
This does not happen often. I do not like when it comes around and, of course, I do not welcome it, but this feeling of not being good enough creeps up sometimes at the most craziest times. I know the devil is whispering in my ear. I know that it’s the evilness trying to take over THE GOOD. I know these things, but I also know without any doubt, that I cannot overcome the war in my brain or the devil’s whispers on my own.
I get through it is with three things: prayer, reading THE WORD and cleaning the house. (HA! to that last one, but it’s true)
1. Prayer is power. It is like talking to your very best friend. It’s like curling up in a hug from someone you love the best. Prayer is not just talking to God, but stopping and listening and just being with Him. I know He’s always with us, but we don’t acknowledge His presence at all times (like we should) and when you truly pray, the communion you have is amazing. It’s the best time for healing and just knowing that YOU ARE LOVED no matter what you have done, what you are doing or what you are going to do.
2. The BIBLE is the guidebook. It’s like the play book the team goes to. It’s the instruction manual for your life if you want to be truly in the will of God. It can give you such a calm and a peace… if you are feeling crazy or at war in your mind, the words will replace those feelings and help you move from this unworthy place and on to a place where you can be who HE meant for you to be.
3. Cleaning house–I know this isn’t something real godly, but it is something that helps me concentrate on moving forward and separating myself from negative thoughts. Something about making a toilet shiny and clean, fighting soap scum or vacuuming just makes my mind get clean too. I also like to paint when the emotional war creeps up on me. Painting Bible verses, fluffy clouds or maelstroms using happy colors help my mind see the sunshine and sprinkles and move away from the darkness that makes my mind murky. Basically, this third one, is keeping myself occupied with things that are good. Just like the other two, this helps me look to the good…move toward the good and meditate on THE GOOD.
I can overcome the darkness by looking to THE GOOD.
**Thank YOU GOD for the good.