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Archive for the ‘Influence’ Category

HOW?

If we were really honest when people ask, “How are you doing?” …well, some of us might go into a rant about what is really going on.  Who did us wrong. How the morning didn’t go so well.  What child made us want to ring their neck.  How those jeans didn’t fit just right.  The things we didn’t get.  The people who looked at us wrong.  …and the list goes on… and perhaps on.

How do you REALLY feel?  With a good amount of reflection, we could tell you exactly how we feel, but most times, it’s not how we feel, it’s how something else made us that way.  We blame others for our bad moods.  We point at circumstances and events in our lives that created in us some type of victim.  We want everything that is bad to be someone else’s fault.

But ohhhh, if it’s going good…it’s all about US, right?

But what if we take all of those things–good AND bad– and remind ourselves that it’s really, all good.  I know what you are thinking!  “I don’t have a mate, my parents died just when I needed them, my child is driving me to drink (literally) or I was just diagnosed with …”  How in the world can THOSE THINGS be good???

I totally admit, it is hard to look at our low low looooow valley circumstances and think they are good.  They aren’t.  They are sad, devastating, body aching times that feel like they are going to do us in.  They are going to break us.

We don’t have to claim the brokenness.  We don’t have to stay in our cracked state. Oh yes, these things change us.  Sometimes we change a lot.  Our personalities become different.  We don’t talk the same, don’t do things we used to do or even try to disappear.  It happens. I know.  I’ve seen it.  I’ve experienced it.  But we don’t have to stay like that.  We don’t have to create a different path for our future because we have had a horrible experience.  We CAN look at the good, bad and super ugly in a different way.  We can.  We have the ability.  God made us with a free-will, a choice, a daily question to answer.  How will you take today?  How will you survive this?  How will you look at what is in front of you and come out the other end?  HOW?

If you have read to this point, you want to know what I have to say about His answer.

This is the only way I have gotten through any trying time in my life successfully.  It is through the word of the Almighty God!  He is the answer.  He is my perspective.  He is my answer to “HOW?”!!!  The only answer I know to be right and true.  You can read those self-help books written by people who say apple cider vinegar and ginger root fixes all that ails you.  You can.  I’ve read a few.  But the only book that can truly help fix what ails you is THE BIBLE.  It’s written by God inspired and guided people who are bringing us HIS truth.

A lot of people have a lot of reasons why they don’t read it.  “It’s too long.  It has weird stories. It doesn’t tell me anything.  It just doesn’t help me.”  All of those excuses tell me that you are not in a place where you really want a fix.  You don’t want a different perspective.  You don’t want an answer to your, “How?” You don’t need it so bad that you will reach out to God and ask for His help, because you don’t believe He can do it.

I’m telling you right now in this blog that has gone a little longer than I thought it would…

He can!

He can help any situation, any circumstance….ANYTHING.

But you first must believe.  You have to step toward Him and not away.   You have to want it… so bad… you will do anything to grab on to it!  Read the Bible.  Pray for God to reveal what He has for you.  He wants to help you through whatever you are going through.  He wants to be there for the good, the bad, the really hideous!  He wants to answer your “HOW?”  He wants to help you see what He sees, because no matter what it is, if you love Him, if you trust Him… ALL THINGS work together for your good.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  -Romans 8:28

PROMISE

It’s that time of year again when everyone starts talking about their list of resolutions.

The resolution word kind of makes me *sigh* with disgust.  I’m certain, mostly because there are so many resolutions in the past that have gone awry.  They disappeared almost the minute they were made.  I’m not saying all of them did, but there are so many repeated ones that are made and for what reason?  –to just break them again?

RESOLUTION

Dictionary dot com has a list of ways to define the word, but here’s the one I’m referring to today:

resolve; a decision or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.

We resolve to do so many things in our lives…

We want to lose weight.  We want to smile more.  We buy better food in order to eat “cleaner.”  We resolve to be nicer, love more and eat the salad instead of the whatever.  Maybe you want to make your bed everyday or make sure your dishes are clean at night.  Perhaps you want to be a better husband, wife, mother, son or daughter.

WHATEVER your resolution or list of resolutions are … I challenge you to make at least ONE of those MORE than a resolution.  Let’s make a PROMISE.

a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc., byone

Let’s not flippantly decide we *might* do something better this year.  Let’s PROMISE that we will strive to become better at ________________ or show others more _______________.

Let’s improve, develop, achieve, enhance and UPGRADE our lives.  Promise to do something POSITIVE this coming year.  Don’t resolve to make it happen…PROMISE!

Here are some examples:

I PROMISE TO…

Go to GOD first in any situation (especially the crazy ones!) and not try to figure it out myself.

Be a positive example for those around me even when gossip seems to be the topic of the conversation.

Show LOVE before any other thing in any circumstance.

Yell less and speak words of happiness more.

READ MY BIBLE EVERYDAY.

Point to the positive and not the negative.

Seek HIM.

Don’t just resolve …PROMISE.


Momma

I’ve had dreams about my momma the last two nights.  I would love to have her here especially at Christmas.  I know there are many others that feel this way during the holiday season.  I also know some who have such animosity and hatred towards their mother (or other family members) that they couldn’t care less where their mother spends Christmas.  So sad.  If I could just tell those–hatred is ugly and it only eats on you…and definitely does not prepare us for Heaven.  Hatred kills our souls and makes us want revenge which is usually carried out by lies we conjure up or even horrendous acts like ignoring our loved ones at Christmas.  We should want to make our mothers happy and want to honor her, no matter what relationship–close or otherwise–we have with her.

“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.                     -Deuteronomy 5:16

(I want it to go well with me!)

A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother. -Proverbs 10:1

A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him. -Proverbs 17:25

My mom was a sweet soul.

She was soft-hearted.

She loved Jesus and loved her family.

She also loved to tell everyone about whatever was going on in her life.  Sometimes that part of her drove me insane.  We would be in a public place, around people we had never met and she would start to tell them about some circumstance as if they knew her all her life.  I’m unsure why she did that, but the impulse to do it increased as she got older.  Looking back, I sure wish I had never felt embarrassed about those times or even worried about who she would bend the ear of on any particular day.  No one else really got upset about her stories.  I do admit that some of her stories might of been a little personal and it felt awkward, but really it was just me who felt that way.  Most people would smile and some would even start with a related story.  I hope Mom was never aware of the anger I had in those situations.  I have asked GOD for forgiveness so many times for it.  I know I only have to ask once, but when you feel guilt, you tend to ask for forgiveness numerous times.

My mom was a “patter.”  She enjoyed giving you “love-pats” as she would call them. I am a hugger and do love a good ole bear-hug, but patting made and still makes me feel weird.  I’m unsure why.  I’m sure some shrink could let me know their opinion, but either way, I just find it a little annoying.  I’m not saying I would shun my mom’s love, but at times, it was excessive.

When I was little, like any child I believe, I would crawl up in my mom’s lap and just love to be loved.  I loved the security her lap made me feel.  She and my dad both always had rocking recliners and she would always rock me when I got in that lap.  When I got some older we would even recline back and just lay there together watching TV.  I remember watching the Wizard of Oz in her lap–especially thanks to those stupid flying monkeys.

When I got married, my parents were both awesome about scheduling family get-togethers so Bobby and I could be there.  They wanted to have the entire family together and if that meant doing it on a different day than tradition, that was fine with them.  I so appreciated them for doing that.  I married into a huge family that had several events and for my family to take that into consideration, meant so much to me.  I’m not sure I ever told either of my parents that.  Always tell your parents why you appreciate them!  There comes a time (like today for me) that it’s too late.

Here now, as an adult and mother myself, I miss my mom.  I would listen to any of her crazy stories, allow her to pat me as much as she wants and would love to watch the Wizard of Oz in her lap again.

…I know there will be a day that I will long for my own children to be in my house together especially at Christmas.  I know I will get on their nerves with something I do and maybe one day I will tell stories to complete strangers that embarrass them too…

I pray most of all that no matter what… our relationships can always be good ones… no matter how much I love them or annoy them.

DON’T BE SELFISH AND HATEFUL…

Don’t let the time pass …don’t let your mom pass …

without letting her know that you love her, appreciate her and will miss her when she’s gone.

Sound right…people listen.

I listened to TEDtalks on my 3 mile walk this morning. YES, I WALKED THREE MILES! YAY!
Below is the talk I enjoyed the most. We have such POWER with our words. This guy makes some awesome points. You want people to listen??? Want to spread sunshine and lightness in the world? I DO!

The Mind Convo

Everyone has them…in your mind, you have this constant conversation going.  Most of the time, it’s all questions.  Should I?  Can I?  Am I?  Do I?  Where?  What?  How?   You attempt to answer them, but sometimes the questions are answered with even more questions.

I know a lot of these are part of decision making and we MUST do it.  I mean, SHOULD I BREATHE?  Duhhhhh, yes.  Should I brush my teeth?  Duhhhhhhhh, yes.  Some questions are a given.  Then there are those OTHER QUESTIONS…

AM I PRETTY?  AM I SMART?  AM I WORTHY?  Do I look better than ….?  Am I the best at …..?  Does ……like me?

UHHHHHHHHG!  Just typing those questions makes me want to scream, for real!  YES YOU ARE PRETTY! YES YOU ARE SMART!  YES YOU ARE WORTHY! …you don’t have to look better than someone else–YOU LOOK LIKE YOU!…You are the best at SOMETHING, find it!  People DO like you!  Some don’t too, but YOU SHOULD NOT CARE ABOUT THOSE!  Yes, I know, I keep screaming.

If you have ever dealt with an insecure person, you can see all these questions written on their forehead.  They almost pop up like speech bubbles above their head.  I want to pop the bubble and use an eraser on that chalkboard in their brain.  I want to do something that will make them believe in themselves.  I want to hit them!  Ok, I really do not want to cause them physical harm, but I do want them to snap out of it somehow.

I am not saying I never ever have those questions in my crazy head.  I just push through all that clutter, because I know who I am.  I know what I was made for and I know without a doubt that OTHERS cannot define who I am with their opinions, looks, stares or even verbal rants (to my face or behind my back).  Oh, I get my feelings hurt at times, of course.  People are people.  Humans can’t help to wear their emotions on their sleeves at times.  Some do it more than others.  Some people have MIND CONVOS which are a long stream of insecure thoughts and negative thrashings.  It makes me sad for them, but at the same time MAD AT THEM for not loving themselves!

COME ON PEOPLE!!!

I know, I’m still yelling, but I get so crazy on this subject. I’m sure I’ve blogged about it before many times.

I won’t capitalize anymore.  I’m just going to type my requests calmly:

Quiet that convo–the negative one– in your mind which makes you feel less of what you are suppose to be.  Please.

Look in the mirror and love what you see.  Please.

Don’t compare yourself.  (It’s hard not to put that in caps.)  Please.

Choose to be happy and confident, because you are pretty (or handsome), you are smart and you are worthy.  You are talented and you are liked.  Stop trying to please everyone and be happy with who you are.  Please.

Ending today with this cartoon.   INSTANT SELF ESTEEM:

ME_349_Instant_Self_Esteem

Remember, this is funny… I really don’t think everything revolves around me.

I know who my life is truly about.  I’m just number 3: 1.God 2. Others 3. Me

 

Opinions

Quotes I found today on opinions. Just thinking about how opinions rule your world sometimes. At times, our opinions are mistaken or misunderstood. Tone is important. Your opinion about yourself is soooo very important.

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C. S. Lewis Quotes

Some quotes to make ya think…

The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.

God can’t give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.

((AMEN!!))

To have Faith in Christ] means, of course, trying to do all that He says. There would be no sense in saying you trusted a person if you would not take his advice. Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already. Not hoping to get to Heaven as a reward for your actions, but inevitably wanting to act in a certain way because a first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you.

((That is a cool way to look at it.))

The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go God’s love for us does not.

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