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Posts tagged ‘grudges’


The Key to Happiness

I was absolutely blessed and honored to speak at the ORE CITY HIGH SCHOOL graduation tonight.

 I love our students and I hope I helped make their special night even more memorable.

HERE’S JUST A FEW KEY POINTS I shared with them tonight.

This is not my entire speech, but it’s the part I really hope they listened to.  I said a bit more, but these are the IMPORTANT parts.

… the IMPORTANT KEYS that can only promote, support and contribute to your future happiness.

  • I do not think I’m a perfectly happy person all the time, but I surely strive to be as happy as I can be and if you need some cheering up, I’ll be the first one to try. You should be that for others in your life. THIS IS KEY. Be a big bright shiny smiley face to those around you. You might get weird looks or even a few comments (believe me…it will happen), but that is what makes it even MORE WORTH IT!
  • We should all treasure the time we have with each other. THIS IS KEY! Don’t allow it to slip by. Don’t allow things to go unspoken. Tell the ones you love, that you truly love them. And do it often. We live in the communication age—you could call ‘em, text ‘em, tweet ‘em, follow ‘em, like ‘em, upload a youtube video, skype and snapchat all at the same time! You probably didn’t know I knew about all that, but I do. Hug people! Squeeze ‘em and tell them that you are there for them—don’t miss the opportunities to do that. And don’t forget to smile at others even if they look at you like you have gone crazy. (don’t be scared!)

  • Don’t judge others…THIS IS KEY!  You don’t truly know where they’ve been or what they are going through. Don’t allow your quick to judge attitude or anything like that to get in the way of you being able to love others. Liking them might be hard to do sometimes and you are not going to like everyone you come in contact with. You already know that, but LOVE should never be a question. You don’t have to like everything about someone to have love for them. And I’m not talking couple-love, give me sugars-love… I’m talking genuine love for humans. When you really, truly figure that out…expect BRIGHTER, HAPPIER and SUNSHINIER SUNNY DAYS (even when it may be cloudy outside!)

  • Always look ahead. You can’t change the past so why dwell on it? THIS IS KEY! Work daily on moving forward and away from things that get you down and that sometimes want to creep back up from the past. Don’t let it! Look ahead to the things you CAN DO instead of anything you didn’t already do. Leave the past in the past.

  • IT’S ALL ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK AT IT. If you didn’t hear it, you could read it—it’s written on my wall right behind my desk. This saying has been a motto, slogan, mantra of mine for many years— which basically means that any situation, no matter how bad it may be, can be looked at in a different way. There is always something good going on. Sometimes, you just gotta find it! Even if you have to break the shovel out and dig for it–Keep looking—because it truly is all about how you look at it.

  • And the last key I’m going to share with you tonight, and to me, the most important…Don’t hold grudges no matter what—THIS IS KEY! Grudges are heavy. All they do is slow ya down. Without those ugly, nasty, heavy things, you too can feel even LIGHTER and more able to travel through this life with ease. Who doesn’t want a smooth path to travel? Grudges make your way full of pot holes and obstacles. They cloud your mind and make your outlook dark.  Without them you can have more time to do the fun things you want to do, because you aren’t wasting time thinking about some stupid grudge. There’s no body in this world worth holding a grudge against. It doesn’t hurt them by you holding it, because most of the time, they don’t even care. There’s a quote that says: Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. (GET IT?) Grudges poison your soul and only allow you to do and say ugly things. Don’t waste your time on that. You don’t have time for that…Ain’t nobody got time for that!

You hold the key to so many things, but most importantly, you hold the key to your own happiness. I hope that something I said tonight helps you open that door!

Adjectives and Grudges

Good ones, bad ones, happy ones, sad ones, cranky, slow, fast, crazy…
We all have adjectives that describe us. If I had a buck for every time I was called “weird,” I’d be able to buy myself something very shiny. So, we are all different. Some things we have in common, others we don’t. That is life. We meet people we absolutely fall in love with. We meet people we don’t fall in love with at all. We have those inner circle friends, we have those who make us smile when we see them and then we have those on the other end of the spectrum. We weren’t all put here together to enjoy everyone’s company. How could we anyway–there’s too many of us! Anyway, what I’m saying is –we have to accept that we are not going to “like” everyone in our life. Not every one is going to like us. It’s a given–another thing we just need to accept and move on. If you dwell on the fact that you dislike someone or on the fact that they don’t so much like you, you are wasting your very precious time. Our time is truly to be spent loving one another. You can love everyone without liking everything about them. No matter who you meet or where you meet them, you can have love for them.

I promise you can!

If there is someone in your life that you are thinking about right now and shaking your head no at my post here, you are wasting your time holding on to something that is unnecessary to the well-being and happy health of your life. It’s called a grudge. EW! That word, to me, even sounds gross. It’s like “cancer” or “boil.” And really, if you compare those things, they do some of the same things to you. They make you uncomfortable, anxious and a lot of times, sick to your stomach. I don’t want any of that!

Am I saying that I NEVER EVER feel grudging towards others? No. I’m human. DUHHHhhhhh! I have had times in my life where I was so angry with another person, I was physically ill. Do you see how DUMB that sounds? I’ve also had sad times where I was so down because I knew someone didn’t really enjoy me. Why did I waste MY time being sad? It was they who had the problem, not me.


So adjectives shouldn’t get in the way of us being able to love others. Liking them might be hard to do, perhaps, but LOVE should never be a question. When you really, truly figure that out…expect BRIGHTER, HAPPIER and yes, HEALTHIER days. Grudges are heavy and without those, you even feel LIGHTER! Who doesn’t want that!? You will also have more time to do the fun things we all want to do, because you aren’t wasting time with that grudge stuff. I work daily on moving forward and away from the grudges that sometimes want to creep back up. I pray that you have the strength to do that too!

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