crazy, weird, UNIQUE!

Posts tagged ‘happiness’

The Mind Convo

Everyone has them…in your mind, you have this constant conversation going.  Most of the time, it’s all questions.  Should I?  Can I?  Am I?  Do I?  Where?  What?  How?   You attempt to answer them, but sometimes the questions are answered with even more questions.

I know a lot of these are part of decision making and we MUST do it.  I mean, SHOULD I BREATHE?  Duhhhhh, yes.  Should I brush my teeth?  Duhhhhhhhh, yes.  Some questions are a given.  Then there are those OTHER QUESTIONS…

AM I PRETTY?  AM I SMART?  AM I WORTHY?  Do I look better than ….?  Am I the best at …..?  Does ……like me?

UHHHHHHHHG!  Just typing those questions makes me want to scream, for real!  YES YOU ARE PRETTY! YES YOU ARE SMART!  YES YOU ARE WORTHY! …you don’t have to look better than someone else–YOU LOOK LIKE YOU!…You are the best at SOMETHING, find it!  People DO like you!  Some don’t too, but YOU SHOULD NOT CARE ABOUT THOSE!  Yes, I know, I keep screaming.

If you have ever dealt with an insecure person, you can see all these questions written on their forehead.  They almost pop up like speech bubbles above their head.  I want to pop the bubble and use an eraser on that chalkboard in their brain.  I want to do something that will make them believe in themselves.  I want to hit them!  Ok, I really do not want to cause them physical harm, but I do want them to snap out of it somehow.

I am not saying I never ever have those questions in my crazy head.  I just push through all that clutter, because I know who I am.  I know what I was made for and I know without a doubt that OTHERS cannot define who I am with their opinions, looks, stares or even verbal rants (to my face or behind my back).  Oh, I get my feelings hurt at times, of course.  People are people.  Humans can’t help to wear their emotions on their sleeves at times.  Some do it more than others.  Some people have MIND CONVOS which are a long stream of insecure thoughts and negative thrashings.  It makes me sad for them, but at the same time MAD AT THEM for not loving themselves!


I know, I’m still yelling, but I get so crazy on this subject. I’m sure I’ve blogged about it before many times.

I won’t capitalize anymore.  I’m just going to type my requests calmly:

Quiet that convo–the negative one– in your mind which makes you feel less of what you are suppose to be.  Please.

Look in the mirror and love what you see.  Please.

Don’t compare yourself.  (It’s hard not to put that in caps.)  Please.

Choose to be happy and confident, because you are pretty (or handsome), you are smart and you are worthy.  You are talented and you are liked.  Stop trying to please everyone and be happy with who you are.  Please.

Ending today with this cartoon.   INSTANT SELF ESTEEM:


Remember, this is funny… I really don’t think everything revolves around me.

I know who my life is truly about.  I’m just number 3: 1.God 2. Others 3. Me


Be Happy



Yes, everything.

*huge sigh*

Sometimes it is super hard to do this!

Not EVERYTHING seems to have a “good” part, but we must keep looking.  We have to open our eyes and dig deeper.  It  is there.  Is it there?  Even an optimist (like I claim to be) is confused at times by things that happen and people who use their words to hurt.

But EVERYTHING …no matter what it is… can be “ok” if we can only look at it through different lenses.  We have to super power wash those lenses in some instances.  We have to wipe the dirty grime and stinky sludge off of them and blink a few times before we can see clearly again.

Keep blinking, keep looking and keep on keepin’ on…



A co-worker of mine today asked the question: WHY NOT BE HAPPY WITH THE DAY THE LORD BLESSED YOU WITH?

I ask myself that every morning…WHY NOT!?  And I answer myself, yes, I do.  My answer 100% of the time is this: There is no reason at all why I shouldn’t be happy with what God has given me this very moment.   Blessings are all around, but some do not count them.  You know those who don’t, but I was reminded today that I have people around me who do!

Happiness abounds in every situation no matter how dim and bleak it looks.  There is always something positive you can get out of a moment.  Friends are here to show you sometimes.  God uses them.  That is so awwwwwesome how He does that!

I wasn’t in a “bad” place at all today ..but when that happy person let me know that he was just as happy as I am in life–I felt ENCOURAGED, I felt like I was on the right team!  and that I’m not the only one that truly believes that JOY should abound!

Thank You for reminding me of this, Lord, through this person today!



Recognize, visualize, OPEN YO EYES!


Blessings come from all over.  They fall from the sky and hit us right on the head sometimes.  We are so worried about the bump on our head that we don’t recognize the gift laying at our feet!  WHAT THE WHAT?!?  So dumb.

Recognize, visualize, OPEN YO EYES!  I have to remind myself of this daily.  I am not one to get way down or depressed much at all, but my mind gets on overload at times and it starts thinking stupid stuff.  I start feeling guilty for being healthy and happy.  I worry about being TOO blessed.  How dumb.  Seriously, how stupid am I when that happens!

Let’s say one of your parents wraps up this huge awesome gift that you have wanted for years.  They put thought and a ton of love in that box right along with this amazing gift.  You open it up and WAHHLAAAH–it’s what you have always wanted!  It makes your face smile all over your body!  You hoop and holler and hug their neck.  It’s wonderful, amazing and it’s all yours!

Would you take that gift and shove it back toward them and say, “I can’t accept this.”???  Would you ruin their day and crush their spirit?  Would you turn to them and ask them WHY they got that for you?   DUHHHHHHHHHH……..NOOOOO!

Just as our family and friends, BUT EVEN MORE SO, our Father God gives us blessings and gifts over and over.  His gifts are amazing and wonderful and awe-inspiring.  He gives us the sky, the science of breathing and laughing and wow, birthing!  He allows us to see and smell and taste.  He drops awesome people into our lives.  He allows us to provide for ourselves and our families through giving us jobs and ways of living.  He enables us to travel and see the sights that He created.  BLESSINGS!  GIFTS!  Why would we ever push those things back toward God and say “I’m not good enough to have that.”???

THAT RIGHT THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE THING…it’s the whisper of the devil.  The devil likes to tell you that you aren’t worthy.  The whispers he tells you say you don’t need to do this or that, because you aren’t good enough.   That nasty creep wants you to waller in guilt and suffering.  The devil loves when you feel guilt and shame.  UG!  And why do we do it!?  Why do I DO IT!?  DON’T DO IT!

Sometimes it takes a friend to remind you that the devil is real. (thanks Tammy!) All the time the Bible will guide you to where you need to be–away from that evil instigator.  When you feel the tug of the darkness…pray, pray and PRAY SOME MORE!

We have been SET FREE, because of the best gift of all!  The amazing blessing of a savior!  I have been set free by Jesus.  I have been made worthy thanks to the sacrifice He made.  I don’t want to ever shove that gift back toward Him!  I want to accept it, hold on to it, squeeze it and rejoice in it!  Amen!

Lord, please forgive me for kicking, screaming, griping, moaning, whining and crying about anything you have given me–PERIOD

I want to always recognize, visual and OPEN MY EYES to Your provisions, gifts and blessings!!!  Thank You for all!!!


Summertime really started today, because I have PINK in my hair now! Thanks to my awesome hairdresser (who is a great friend!). My husband doesn’t say much about it. My girl child LOVES it. Boy child–neutral. I love it, of course! I like having more color in the mirror. 🙂  Some might think it’s a bit much, but to me–it’s just FUN–just like MY LIFE!

So here it is…




I talk about a lot of things here at AwesomeClawson.  Several are reoccurring such as the topic today.


It is so important that you never stop learning.  Do not ever get to the point where you can’t learn or you THINK you know it all.  At that point, you are stagnant, dull and to tell ya the absolute truth, quite annoying.  We’ve all been around the type that you can tell nothing to. They know it already, right?  (RIGHT!?)  If you are one of these, please stop.  IMMEDIATELY.


I believe to keep yourself young, you must continue to learn.  To keep yourself moving, you must keep learning.  To make yourself even more of a beautiful human being, you must CONTINUOUSLY LEARN.

As a teacher, if I were totally against learning then I’D BE DEFEATING MY OWN PURPOSE!


It can take place just about anywhere.  To learn something new is like a gift to me.  Like, HAPPY LEARNING to me!

Today I learned…

that I can STILL learn new techniques and ways of doing things like collage, clay and shading.  Everyone has their own way of doing things and sometimes to observe this, helps US become renewed and revived!  At times it just reminds us of something we wanted to do or did at one time.  Other times, we discover we like the way we did it instead of this new way, but still, it’s cool to see the NEW WAY.  The best times are when there is that AHH HAAA moment when you go, “Oh wow, that is cool!”  THAT IS LEARNING! ((LOVE IT!))

I get so excited about learning new things and I believe that is why I love teaching—I love watching my students do the “OH WOW…” moment.  It’s more than rewarding—it’s why I do what I do.


with LOVE



If our response to anything we encounter would be LOVE, our lives would be so much easier.  I’m not saying that if we show LOVE to everyone, they will show love back.  We all know that won’t happen.  Some people can’t handle that.  Many people are skeptical of love.  They want to know what you want in return.  Some just feel uneasy about another person caring for them in any way.  I find that sad and, well, really, un-God-ly.  God meant us for love.  He put us here so we can love each other.

I know, in the beginning Adam and Eve messed up and their kids messed up as well and so on  and so forth … so we are in this vicious cycle where LOVE is not the center of our every day.  We can’t blame it on ancestry though.  We can only blame it on ourselves.  God gave us the FREE WILL CHOICE…we choose what we do.  (just as Adam chose to take the apple and Cane chose to kill his brother)  It is only our own faults when we don’t show love.  The devil didn’t make you do it.  Oh, I truly believe he whispers suggestions to us (just as he did to Eve about the apple), but in the end he didn’t push you.  YOU HAD TO CHOOSE.  You are in control of your decisions and you can ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE.  It’s there, it’s an option—it’s YOUR CHOICE.

I had something happen to me about a week ago.  A person told my husband something that pretty much made my blood boil.  It was their opinion about a group of people in which my whole family is a part of.  Wow, did I get angry!  I was very angry and hurt toward this person.  Then I thought some more on the issue…I wasn’t so much upset with the actual person saying it, but at their confusion and misconception of the situation.  They are looking at the circumstances of their own life and basically lashing out.  They are selfish in their thought and angry about life in general, I believe; therefore “hating” on whoever they can so that they can make themselves feel better.    HA!  Does that ever work?  I’ve tried it myself.  I promise you it doesn’t.  Yelling and screaming or slandering others does not make YOU feel better.  Never.  It only adds to your pitiful state.  If you say it does help, you have deeper issues and should seriously seek counselling.  I know that sounds like I’m kind of joking, but I’m not.

So, back to my story here…I surprised myself by being able to  think about the person’s feelings more and not just allow my blood pressure to stay up every time I think of them.  I believe they need prayer.  I know they need more love.  I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to SHOW the love thing yet, but I’m working on it.  God has shown me over and over and over again that displaying anything other than love truly is a waste of my time.  All you do is spin your wheels and most of the time get stuck in a situation you didn’t want to be in.  Hate, anger, screaming and yelling do absolutely nothing to further your journey.  Hate cannot pave your way to a happy life.   Love is the only way.  They say “love is what makes the world go ’round” and I know that can be taken several different ways, but if we all took this literally, LOVE would make this world go ’round much more smoothly.  We wouldn’t see the horrible things we see in the headlines.  We would be subjected to more good than bad.   If more of us would chose LOVE, our lives would be so much easier.  


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