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Posts tagged ‘question’

Am I?

We all have questions. Some more than others.  I’m not a big question asker.  I’m not inherently nosey. I am not a good investigator. 

But I do have this question I ask myself daily. Sometimes I ask it numerous times a day. I’m usually not a person who worries, but I admit, I do get concerned about this question.  I believe that if you are a Christian as well, you will relate to this question. You have probably uttered this question under your breath, in the corners of your mind or even blurted it out in prayer.  

“Am I doing enough to show others JESUS?”

I don’t think any of us are ever truly hitting our full sharing Jesus potential. So maybe my question should be, 

“Am I trying as hard as I can to share You, Jesus?”

Some days don’t seem as full of effort as others do to me.  At times, I feel like I’m walking the way I’m supposed to, but then I trip up.  I am so grateful we can be in constant contact with the Lord. Prayer is power and helps me feel the confidence I know I can always have in the Lord.  My crazy mind gets all tangled up with things of this world, though and I know I fail at sharing JESUS through my speech and actions. 

Lord, please remind me constantly that I need to walk the walk and talk the talk.  Jesus did so much for all of us and I never want to be one of those who deny His grace. I want to be clothed in it and shine so brightly that others know without a doubt I have Jesus is in my heart.  I pray that my question can always be answered with a YES. YES I AM.  In His precious name, amen.  

How can I hate it?

I know you are not supposed to hate…

But I’ve voiced it and written it before…

I HATE CANCER.

I hate the word.  I don’t like the fear it brings.  SO MANY have been effected negatively by it in someway or another.

BUT I thought of this today:

If cancer had some kind of hand in my brother giving his heart absolutely and completely to Jesus,

How can I hate it?

I haven’t given cancer much credit for doing anything like that.  I’m the type of person that tries to look on the bright side of things and always on the search for THE GOOD in things.  How can I think of cancer in a good way, though?

I still don’t like what it does to the body. In the end, it took my brother’s mind, there was such confusion.  Cancer is so ugly,

but if it had some part of leading him to Jesus–WHOLLY AND FULLY–

How can I hate it?

What if my brother’s death brings others to Jesus?  Cancer was part of it.  *sigh*  I’m so torn.  I really do not like cancer, but if it helps point anyone to JESUS…

How can I hate it?

And really truly, I know that in the end, cancer did not ultimately take my brother…

As one friend wrote to me today:

“Cancer tried to take my Daddy and Jesus took him instead.”  This is the ultimate comfort.

Death did not take my brother, cancer did not take my brother,

JESUS took him by the hand and led him to the glory we receive all thanks and praise to JESUS. 

…and cancer may be able to take some credit in my brother’s decision to except that gift of glory..

How can I hate it?

We are ALL teachers.

We all have those teachers that REALLY taught us.  We have those favorite ones that made us feel good about ourselves, pushed us to be our best.  Oh how safe we felt when we entered their rooms!  Those are the ones who truly influenced us the most.  They taught us so much!

BUT WE ALSO have those who made us negatively question our intelligence and confidence. They made us feel uneasy every time we saw them not only in class but at the grocery store.  Even though they were pretty much the opposite of the “favorite,” they still taught us something.

When I was in 6th grade, I politely raised my hand to ask a question.  Once called on, I asked the question.  The teacher then looked at me and told me that students like me were the reason she wanted to quit her job.  I will never ever EVER forget the way that lady made me feel.  Until that very day, she had been one of my favorite teachers.  Wow, did that change!  She will never know how much she taught me that day.  I admit, that was quite the downer for me.  I didn’t enjoy science as much after that day.  I never EVER asked another question in that class.  I wondered why she did that to me.  I don’t remember the question, but I’m certain it wasn’t anything to warrant her response.  I won’t go on and tell you about my pity party afterward.

What I want to tell you is …that she taught me to never EVER make someone feel like that.  Because of that day in 6th grade, I am a teacher that strives to make my students feel loved, cared for and IMPORTANT.

Even if I didn’t have my teaching degree, I would still be some type of teacher.  We all are!  You teach others something by your words and actions.  It’s a given.  Even if you are more of a follower, you are still leading someone.  You are setting an example at all times.  Is your example something worth following?

I learn so much from those around me …even my 10 year old child who wanted to know if Dinosaurs came before Adam and Eve?  He’s always questioning things and wanting to know more about this or that.  I love learning more and more just through his eyes.  Even at 10, he’s a teacher.  We are ALL teachers.

What have you learned today?
What have you TAUGHT today?

Jimmy Knox

We are all dying. It’s not something we like to chat about.  No one starts out a conversation with a question like, “So, when do you think you will die?”  We just don’t talk about it.  For most, dying is not at the forefront of our brains.

I’m just like anyone else.  I don’t relish the fact that one day I will have to go through some kind of “episode” in order to pass from this world.  I’m not scared of what will come after my last breath is taken here on earth.  I am a bit apprehensive about how that last breath is taken though.  I think it’s safe to say that I’m not alone in that.

Whether we like to talk about it or not, dying is real and inevitable.

AND Some people do not have the luxury of thinking someday or somehow I will die…

Some people know that they are terminally ill.  They know that it will more than likely be sooner than later.  They are looking death square on.  Of course, they can’t choose the exact day or hour, but there’s not much guess work to the fact that it is eminent.

Oh, I know GOD is in control and He can heal them right here on this planet at any second.  I know HE has that power.  I also know we all have a story and some stories end with a terminal disease.  God does heal those too, though, if their heart is right.  He takes them home to be with him where there is no more illness or any kind of pain that accompanies it.   Gives me goosebumps thinking about it.

My brother is terminal.  He told me just a few minutes ago that it is confirmed that he will be going home from the hospital in the next day or so, assigned to hospice.  He has been through so many things in his life.  He has battled diabetes and all the difficulties that come with that.   He was in a horrible car accident about 20 years ago that left one of his arms less able than the other, one leg shorter than the other, not to mention many other struggles that came along with that incident.  He became blind due to complications with diabetes about 10 years ago.  Through all of this, he has lived in the home we grew up in, almost always alone.  He has battled depression and other things that come along with physical pain.  He truly has been a soldier.  He has fought for a long time and continues to do so.  Just within the last year, he found out on top of all he’s already endured, he has cancer.  The word cancer makes me angry.  I’ve seen it do ugly things to so many people.  Now it has my brother.  I hate to question why … but it’s so hard not to.  Cancer seems so dark to me.

We should not take for granted each day God gives us.  None of us know when we will have our last day here.  We don’t know when those around us will spend their last either.

Please pray for my brother and his comfort.  He has been in pain so long.  I know he doesn’t want to leave this world, but he also knows it will happen much sooner than he had expected.    He does know Jesus. As I said earlier, though, not many really want to think about the “episode” it’s going to take in this world to meet Jesus in the next.  Please pray for his peace.

Thank you in advance for praying for Jimmy Knox.

Who were YOU praying for?

This question hit me right between the eyes yesterday.

Let me start with GROCERY SHOPPING. I detest it, but yesterday, as my youngest and I were planning on going together, we came up with this plan to BUST OUT IN DANCE to “Gangham Style” in the middle of shopping. He was actually very excited about doing this and I am up for ANYTHING that will make grocery shopping less funky. So, it transpired. We zoomed through the shopping, giggling and dancing. It was FUN. I had fun grocery shopping. That is a sentence I thought I’d NEVER EVER write. Ever.

Then it was time to check out. (dun dun duuuuuunnnn…) The man behind the register had a permanent frown on his face. He was sour. I only assumed he hated his job. Perhaps he is not a morning person and it was before 10 a.m. I continued to guess why he didn’t own a smile. Then I started to pray. I started to pray that he smiled or showed some semblance of happiness. Nothing. I prayed and prayed. He said about five words to us. No words of happiness, only words of necessity like speaking the total to me. When I left Walmart, filled the car with all of our goods and began to drive over to our next stop, I said something to my son about wishing everyone loved their work. I mentioned that our checker was visibly unhappy. My child says, “He might of just been having a bad day.” That somehow helped me smile about the encounter, but it also made me realize that my child has a heart for others.

I admit, I didn’t think a lot about Mr. Grocery Cashier Man after that until this morning when his face popped into my head while praying. I talked to God about him and was just going through the list of reasons again–why he might not have been happy. I also thought about how I prayed for him while I was standing there un-admiring his scowl. God said: WHO WERE YOU PRAYING FOR? Were you praying for that man or for you? Were you selfishly asking to see a smile on a man’s face who apparently couldn’t give it or were you seriously praying for that man. Was I praying for WHATEVER reason, circumstance, struggle, battle he was going through? OR was I just so wanting to see a smile, I was asking or perhaps even demanding God do it right then– without any sincerity, compassion or caring? Looking back, meditating on that question and knowing why God asked it of me, I KNOW, I was praying for me! I had such a great experience shopping (for a change)that I didn’t want some sour-faced cashier to break my stride. HOW SELFISH! Prayer is such a powerful thing, but I was using it all wrong!

I still have no idea why cashier man was sad or maybe if he even was? I just know that no matter what is going on with him, I should have been praying for him. I should always sincerely and wholeheartedly pray for others. I don’t want to be selfish in my prayers. I want my prayers to point to others hurts, needs and even wants. If it is in God’s will, I know He will grant it. I thank Him for that! I thank Him for the power of prayer!!! AND I sure hope I can ALWAYS use that power the way I’m supposed to.

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