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Posts tagged ‘self-esteem’

The Mind Convo

Everyone has them…in your mind, you have this constant conversation going.  Most of the time, it’s all questions.  Should I?  Can I?  Am I?  Do I?  Where?  What?  How?   You attempt to answer them, but sometimes the questions are answered with even more questions.

I know a lot of these are part of decision making and we MUST do it.  I mean, SHOULD I BREATHE?  Duhhhhh, yes.  Should I brush my teeth?  Duhhhhhhhh, yes.  Some questions are a given.  Then there are those OTHER QUESTIONS…

AM I PRETTY?  AM I SMART?  AM I WORTHY?  Do I look better than ….?  Am I the best at …..?  Does ……like me?

UHHHHHHHHG!  Just typing those questions makes me want to scream, for real!  YES YOU ARE PRETTY! YES YOU ARE SMART!  YES YOU ARE WORTHY! …you don’t have to look better than someone else–YOU LOOK LIKE YOU!…You are the best at SOMETHING, find it!  People DO like you!  Some don’t too, but YOU SHOULD NOT CARE ABOUT THOSE!  Yes, I know, I keep screaming.

If you have ever dealt with an insecure person, you can see all these questions written on their forehead.  They almost pop up like speech bubbles above their head.  I want to pop the bubble and use an eraser on that chalkboard in their brain.  I want to do something that will make them believe in themselves.  I want to hit them!  Ok, I really do not want to cause them physical harm, but I do want them to snap out of it somehow.

I am not saying I never ever have those questions in my crazy head.  I just push through all that clutter, because I know who I am.  I know what I was made for and I know without a doubt that OTHERS cannot define who I am with their opinions, looks, stares or even verbal rants (to my face or behind my back).  Oh, I get my feelings hurt at times, of course.  People are people.  Humans can’t help to wear their emotions on their sleeves at times.  Some do it more than others.  Some people have MIND CONVOS which are a long stream of insecure thoughts and negative thrashings.  It makes me sad for them, but at the same time MAD AT THEM for not loving themselves!

COME ON PEOPLE!!!

I know, I’m still yelling, but I get so crazy on this subject. I’m sure I’ve blogged about it before many times.

I won’t capitalize anymore.  I’m just going to type my requests calmly:

Quiet that convo–the negative one– in your mind which makes you feel less of what you are suppose to be.  Please.

Look in the mirror and love what you see.  Please.

Don’t compare yourself.  (It’s hard not to put that in caps.)  Please.

Choose to be happy and confident, because you are pretty (or handsome), you are smart and you are worthy.  You are talented and you are liked.  Stop trying to please everyone and be happy with who you are.  Please.

Ending today with this cartoon.   INSTANT SELF ESTEEM:

ME_349_Instant_Self_Esteem

Remember, this is funny… I really don’t think everything revolves around me.

I know who my life is truly about.  I’m just number 3: 1.God 2. Others 3. Me

 

I need prayers!

It has most recently dawned on me that I am the mother of a teenager. I mean, I knew it the day she left the 12th year, but everyone warned me about the “terrible twos” and those weren’t so bad, so I really was not concerned about these teenage warnings.

I’m not saying my child is bad.
She’s not a bad kid…no not at all, BUT SHE’S A TEEN.
So many things come into factor…more school, friends, boys (gag), getting involved with sports and such, etc.

This is the time, I know, bodies change, minds move toward defiance and secrets get kept. I remember this time. I remember not knowing what I wanted or who I liked or didn’t like. I depended so much more on my friends than on my parents and family.
I don’t want to go through this with my child.
I want her to love me and tell me what is up all the time.
I don’t want her to feel her worth from what others tell her.
I want her to stand up and keep in mind she is God’s child.
I want her to be confident in who she is and that GOD MADE HER who she is for a purpose.

I know that purpose is not apparent and that is what makes these next few years so confusing. This confusion will lead to self esteem issues and drama. Oh, the drama. I detest that word although I know that is what life is…”an exciting, emotional, or unexpected series of events or set of circumstances.” I like exciting and know life is emotional, but I do prefer peace in my days. When I think of the word “drama,” I think of teenage girls or worse, people who seem to be stuck in that teenage state who love to create and/or have constant chaos in their lives. Adults who act that way are most disturbing. BUT BACK TO MY TEENAGER…

I need prayers! I will stay in a constant state of prayer for her and for her friends who are going through the same roller coaster type ride of life, but I ask you to please pray for me. I know my patience will be tested, I will be let down, disappointed at times and maybe even on edge of insanity. I will pray and pray some more keeping in mind that PRAYER DOES WORK. I am not going to deny that this time may be more than I expect, but I will be prepared with my sword of prayer. PRAYER IS POWER!

So, again, I ask you to please pray for me as I continue to experience this time in my life (and hers).

I need prayers!

I take comfort in this verse:

il_fullxfull.448453061_3tsv

Build on the Negative

Have you ever been told something you will NEVER FORGET?  We all have, haven’t we?  Well, let me tell you about one of my experiences…

Setting the time period:  It was my sixth grade year, probably 1984.  I was the ugliest thing I’d ever seen.  I had no self-confidence.  I felt socially awkward even though I knew I had some true friends.  I guess we were all a bit awkward at that age.  Looking back, I know this year truly held a turning point in my life.  I’ve had a few of those in my lifetime, but this was the first major one.

Sitting in science class one day, I raised my hand to ask a question about something our teacher had just gone over.  I listened to her.  I promise I did, but I guess, I missed her answering my question previously.  So, I asked.  The lady, who before this was in the top two of my favorite teachers that year, said, “It is students like you that make me want to quit my job.”  So much for “there are not stupid questions.”  I will never forget her saying this.  I don’t even remember what the class’s reaction was to the comment.  It was like time just, as they say, stood still.  I never told my parents she said it.  I just kept it inside and let it fester.  It didn’t help my year of self-loathing.  It made me hate school even more than I already did, because I really did hate it that year.  I’m pretty sure I hated everything.

Finally, after a year or so of being pitiful, I somehow decided that I was done with that.  Taking what she said with me in my suitcase of bad comments and derogatory terms of endearment, I began using things like that to build my self-esteem.  Adding on major help from an uncle of mine who was a super positive influence, I began constructing a more concrete outlook on life.   Middle school is a tough time to do this, but I managed to lose some weight, start wearing a little make-up, got my first true best friend (BFF) and pretty much decided that whatever I do in my life I WILL NEVER EVER NEVER make someone feel like that teacher made me feel.

I mean, sure, I’ve said some things I wish I could slurp back up into my big ole pie hole, but I began guarding my words.  Little did I know then that GOD wants us to do that.   He wants us to listen before speaking.   I’ve blogged on that before. ((Wanna read that? Click here.))  At that point in my life, I was not a huge Bible reader.  I had seen verses, but that is about it.  It was almost as if they were floating out there somewhere.  I owned a Bible, but it was just a huge confusing book to me then.  Well, I thank GOD that he allowed me to break out of the funk inwhich I was stuck.  I thank HIM for sending me people like my uncle and my best friend (who stayed true to me until the day she died back in ’98 at the age of 27).  I chose then that negative words can be used to build positive things.

When I began teaching 19 years ago, I knew that I wanted to make a difference in my students’ lives.  I want them to see that they are truly worth the time, effort and work.  That it is all about them.  I look back and cringe a little when I think of that day back in ’84, but I want to thank that teacher for giving me an example of what I never want to be.  I will truly never forget what she said, in such a negative way, but wow, how you can BUILD on the negative!

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