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Posts tagged ‘selfish’

Momma

I’ve had dreams about my momma the last two nights.  I would love to have her here especially at Christmas.  I know there are many others that feel this way during the holiday season.  I also know some who have such animosity and hatred towards their mother (or other family members) that they couldn’t care less where their mother spends Christmas.  So sad.  If I could just tell those–hatred is ugly and it only eats on you…and definitely does not prepare us for Heaven.  Hatred kills our souls and makes us want revenge which is usually carried out by lies we conjure up or even horrendous acts like ignoring our loved ones at Christmas.  We should want to make our mothers happy and want to honor her, no matter what relationship–close or otherwise–we have with her.

“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.                     -Deuteronomy 5:16

(I want it to go well with me!)

A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother. -Proverbs 10:1

A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him. -Proverbs 17:25

My mom was a sweet soul.

She was soft-hearted.

She loved Jesus and loved her family.

She also loved to tell everyone about whatever was going on in her life.  Sometimes that part of her drove me insane.  We would be in a public place, around people we had never met and she would start to tell them about some circumstance as if they knew her all her life.  I’m unsure why she did that, but the impulse to do it increased as she got older.  Looking back, I sure wish I had never felt embarrassed about those times or even worried about who she would bend the ear of on any particular day.  No one else really got upset about her stories.  I do admit that some of her stories might of been a little personal and it felt awkward, but really it was just me who felt that way.  Most people would smile and some would even start with a related story.  I hope Mom was never aware of the anger I had in those situations.  I have asked GOD for forgiveness so many times for it.  I know I only have to ask once, but when you feel guilt, you tend to ask for forgiveness numerous times.

My mom was a “patter.”  She enjoyed giving you “love-pats” as she would call them. I am a hugger and do love a good ole bear-hug, but patting made and still makes me feel weird.  I’m unsure why.  I’m sure some shrink could let me know their opinion, but either way, I just find it a little annoying.  I’m not saying I would shun my mom’s love, but at times, it was excessive.

When I was little, like any child I believe, I would crawl up in my mom’s lap and just love to be loved.  I loved the security her lap made me feel.  She and my dad both always had rocking recliners and she would always rock me when I got in that lap.  When I got some older we would even recline back and just lay there together watching TV.  I remember watching the Wizard of Oz in her lap–especially thanks to those stupid flying monkeys.

When I got married, my parents were both awesome about scheduling family get-togethers so Bobby and I could be there.  They wanted to have the entire family together and if that meant doing it on a different day than tradition, that was fine with them.  I so appreciated them for doing that.  I married into a huge family that had several events and for my family to take that into consideration, meant so much to me.  I’m not sure I ever told either of my parents that.  Always tell your parents why you appreciate them!  There comes a time (like today for me) that it’s too late.

Here now, as an adult and mother myself, I miss my mom.  I would listen to any of her crazy stories, allow her to pat me as much as she wants and would love to watch the Wizard of Oz in her lap again.

…I know there will be a day that I will long for my own children to be in my house together especially at Christmas.  I know I will get on their nerves with something I do and maybe one day I will tell stories to complete strangers that embarrass them too…

I pray most of all that no matter what… our relationships can always be good ones… no matter how much I love them or annoy them.

DON’T BE SELFISH AND HATEFUL…

Don’t let the time pass …don’t let your mom pass …

without letting her know that you love her, appreciate her and will miss her when she’s gone.

Selfish and Egotistical.

I read a blog today that listed the ten choices you will regret in ten years.  I hope it doesn’t take TEN YEARS to regret some of the ones that were listed!  The one below was the one that stuck out to me the most.

Being selfish and egotistical.

A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best tombstone. Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired. So carve your name on hearts, not stone. What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains.

Remember, WHEN WE WERE YOUNG…we are so selfish.  I know I was.  The excerpt above says it so well.  What you do for you DIES with you.  Why not leave a legacy?  Inspire others!

Young people live for themselves most of the time.  Even the youth that really seem to strive for community service hours and step up to think of others seem to slip back into the “what’s in it for me” attitude at times.  I know there are always some exceptions–I’ve met those students!   Age really factors in on this, though.  As we get older, we start to realize that the self-serving attitude gets us pretty much no where.  Loneliness and depression set in and we can’t find anything to make the days happy.  You know these people.  These are the adults you now know that are never happy with anything.  They don’t like their spouse, hate their job and can’t find the right mattress (ha!).  The list goes on!

We must evolve into the servant we are meant to be.  Some tend to make fun of those who find religion like they are trying to cover up their past or make up for the things they did.  Those people are just finding another excuse to NOT help others–and to not find JESUS.   I believe maturing and realizing that this world is temporary and above all meeting JESUS is not just some way of covering up the old (altho that is exactly what Jesus did for us), but it’s making things right.  It’s getting past the selfish, egotistical youth (or maybe even adult) you were and transforming into …

The loving, caring, inspiring, unselfish person of good character we are supposed to be.

No matter who ya are…God made you.  You are meant to serve.  You are meant to help, love, care, inspire….encourage….  etc.

AND…

GO.

Who were YOU praying for?

This question hit me right between the eyes yesterday.

Let me start with GROCERY SHOPPING. I detest it, but yesterday, as my youngest and I were planning on going together, we came up with this plan to BUST OUT IN DANCE to “Gangham Style” in the middle of shopping. He was actually very excited about doing this and I am up for ANYTHING that will make grocery shopping less funky. So, it transpired. We zoomed through the shopping, giggling and dancing. It was FUN. I had fun grocery shopping. That is a sentence I thought I’d NEVER EVER write. Ever.

Then it was time to check out. (dun dun duuuuuunnnn…) The man behind the register had a permanent frown on his face. He was sour. I only assumed he hated his job. Perhaps he is not a morning person and it was before 10 a.m. I continued to guess why he didn’t own a smile. Then I started to pray. I started to pray that he smiled or showed some semblance of happiness. Nothing. I prayed and prayed. He said about five words to us. No words of happiness, only words of necessity like speaking the total to me. When I left Walmart, filled the car with all of our goods and began to drive over to our next stop, I said something to my son about wishing everyone loved their work. I mentioned that our checker was visibly unhappy. My child says, “He might of just been having a bad day.” That somehow helped me smile about the encounter, but it also made me realize that my child has a heart for others.

I admit, I didn’t think a lot about Mr. Grocery Cashier Man after that until this morning when his face popped into my head while praying. I talked to God about him and was just going through the list of reasons again–why he might not have been happy. I also thought about how I prayed for him while I was standing there un-admiring his scowl. God said: WHO WERE YOU PRAYING FOR? Were you praying for that man or for you? Were you selfishly asking to see a smile on a man’s face who apparently couldn’t give it or were you seriously praying for that man. Was I praying for WHATEVER reason, circumstance, struggle, battle he was going through? OR was I just so wanting to see a smile, I was asking or perhaps even demanding God do it right then– without any sincerity, compassion or caring? Looking back, meditating on that question and knowing why God asked it of me, I KNOW, I was praying for me! I had such a great experience shopping (for a change)that I didn’t want some sour-faced cashier to break my stride. HOW SELFISH! Prayer is such a powerful thing, but I was using it all wrong!

I still have no idea why cashier man was sad or maybe if he even was? I just know that no matter what is going on with him, I should have been praying for him. I should always sincerely and wholeheartedly pray for others. I don’t want to be selfish in my prayers. I want my prayers to point to others hurts, needs and even wants. If it is in God’s will, I know He will grant it. I thank Him for that! I thank Him for the power of prayer!!! AND I sure hope I can ALWAYS use that power the way I’m supposed to.

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