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Posts tagged ‘ugly’

You Mad Bro?

Why do people get mad at you when you let them know that whatever they said or did upset you?
Boiling it down:  they are mad at you, because they did something wrong –period.

What happened to, “I’m sorry.”  “I didn’t know that hurt your feelings.”  “I didn’t realize….”  ???

OR THE DREADED…

“I was wrong.”  ???

I have gotten this attitude with students several times over the years.  They say something smart, goofy or against rules (like spray paint on the sidewalk “accidentally” by the art room when they KNOW not to spray paint anywhere NEAR the sidewalk). and when I correct them, they are like, “WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAT?!?”   I’ve had students smart off, turn red and get angry, put their head down on the desk and not talk (I like that one) and leave my room.  Thinking back, I giggle about it.  I mean, really?  They did something wrong… I asked them to stop or correct something and BAM..I’m the bad guy?  Now I’m like, “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???”

This doesn’t just happen in the classroom.  It happens EVERYWHERE!  Most of the time it’s called–DRAMA.

What starts out as a simple confrontation, turns ugly.  One person lets the other person know they feel bad or sad about something the other person did…then blah blah blah, I hate you, blah blah blah, let’s stop being friends or get a divorce and talk bad about each other until we don’t even remember what started all the crazy in the first place.

These days, adults and youth alike seem to run to the internet to start the social media plethora of drama as well.  They hit facebook, twitter, instagram, kik, snapchat…. and the list goes on.  There they compose a post of hidden messages and crazy connotations.  It’s insanity!

Why can’t we act like we are supposed to?  Why can’t we just admit what we did was rude or insensitive or baaad?  We make up excuses on why we did it or how we could have done worse.  Wow, that helps the situation.

JUST SAY YOU’RE SORRY!  (( Oh yea, AND MEAN IT! ))

One time, I was riding with a friend in her awesome little fast car when she was pulled over by a state trooper.  I was giving her a hard time about it when he came up to the window.  He asked the standard questions.  Did she know how fast she was going? Honestly she said she really did not know.  We had been talking and she was not paying attention.  Then he asked her the next standard:  Is there a reason you were going 70 miles per hour when the speed limit is 55?  They way she answered him (I can still hear the way she said it) cracks me up to this day when I think of it:  “I was just speedin’.”  HONESTY.  She had no excuse for her crime.  She was speeding.  That was the end.  The trooper wasn’t rude or nice.  He was matter-of-fact.  She was too.  He pointed to what she did wrong and she admitted to it.  Done.

We need to do this more often.  ADMIT WE WERE WRONG.  Face up to it, take the consequences without griping about it and move forward.  DONE.

What do I care?

What do I care …

If someone doesn’t appreciate my need to look on the bright side?

If smiling is not EVERYONE’S favorite thing?

If people think I’m ugly, fat or stupid?

If my art doesn’t please someone?

If my car isn’t nice enough?

My house not big enough?

Or I don’t wear the “in” styles?

What do I care?

I don’t. 

Peace. 

A reflection: I’m not ugly.

I thank my God for OPTIMISM.  I thank God for moving me forward.  I thank God for allowing the past to be the past.

There was a time in my life where I thought I was so ugly.  I didn’t think anyone really liked me.  I seriously was physically and mentally ugly. Checking out the pictures from that time, I can see and feel my attitude, my pain.  I was pitiful.  I remember feeling gross.  I remember feeling worthless.  I remember continuously questioning why I was born.  I really don’t know exactly what started all of it.  I had great parents and I always felt safe.  I know puberty hitting and my lack of self-confidence created this negative self-image, but it just seemed bigger than that.  I was so sad.

Looking back …I was young and seriously dumb.  I had no true concept of what this life is supposed to be.  I was ignorant to so many things.  I know that comes with being young, but I was allowing all that uncertainty and immaturity to consume me and create an attitude of self-loathing.   I’m not saying all this because I am trying to put myself down …it’s truth.  I’m painting the picture of what I WAS so I can recognize the difference and realize that there is a huge chasm between then and now.  There’s no need in ever feeling that way again.

I’m so glad I am no where near that point in my life.  I’m so thankful God created OPTIMISTIC people who modeled that type of attitude for me.  I thank God that he has allowed me to learn more about what this life is to be.  I’m so thankful He pushed me forward.  MOST OF ALL…I praise HIM for sending Jesus so that I (AND EVERYONE) can have hope in him right now and in days to come.

I’m not ugly.  I know I’m liked by those who truly matter.  Physically, I am beautiful because GOD made me.  MY ATTITUDE–wow, has that changed!?!  I’m not pitiful, I don’t feel gross and I’m no where near worthless.  I don’t ever question why I was born.  I know God has always guided me to do the things I’m doing right now.  I’m not saying I always realized that He was with me, but looking back, I know it now.  The overwhelming-ness of that “ugly” time in my life is gone.  The overwhelming LOVE I feel now has totally wiped away any of those past questions and feelings.

I’m mainly writing this to remind myself that GOD LOVES ME, I have purpose… AND I’m not ugly.

Momma

I’ve had dreams about my momma the last two nights.  I would love to have her here especially at Christmas.  I know there are many others that feel this way during the holiday season.  I also know some who have such animosity and hatred towards their mother (or other family members) that they couldn’t care less where their mother spends Christmas.  So sad.  If I could just tell those–hatred is ugly and it only eats on you…and definitely does not prepare us for Heaven.  Hatred kills our souls and makes us want revenge which is usually carried out by lies we conjure up or even horrendous acts like ignoring our loved ones at Christmas.  We should want to make our mothers happy and want to honor her, no matter what relationship–close or otherwise–we have with her.

“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.                     -Deuteronomy 5:16

(I want it to go well with me!)

A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother. -Proverbs 10:1

A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him. -Proverbs 17:25

My mom was a sweet soul.

She was soft-hearted.

She loved Jesus and loved her family.

She also loved to tell everyone about whatever was going on in her life.  Sometimes that part of her drove me insane.  We would be in a public place, around people we had never met and she would start to tell them about some circumstance as if they knew her all her life.  I’m unsure why she did that, but the impulse to do it increased as she got older.  Looking back, I sure wish I had never felt embarrassed about those times or even worried about who she would bend the ear of on any particular day.  No one else really got upset about her stories.  I do admit that some of her stories might of been a little personal and it felt awkward, but really it was just me who felt that way.  Most people would smile and some would even start with a related story.  I hope Mom was never aware of the anger I had in those situations.  I have asked GOD for forgiveness so many times for it.  I know I only have to ask once, but when you feel guilt, you tend to ask for forgiveness numerous times.

My mom was a “patter.”  She enjoyed giving you “love-pats” as she would call them. I am a hugger and do love a good ole bear-hug, but patting made and still makes me feel weird.  I’m unsure why.  I’m sure some shrink could let me know their opinion, but either way, I just find it a little annoying.  I’m not saying I would shun my mom’s love, but at times, it was excessive.

When I was little, like any child I believe, I would crawl up in my mom’s lap and just love to be loved.  I loved the security her lap made me feel.  She and my dad both always had rocking recliners and she would always rock me when I got in that lap.  When I got some older we would even recline back and just lay there together watching TV.  I remember watching the Wizard of Oz in her lap–especially thanks to those stupid flying monkeys.

When I got married, my parents were both awesome about scheduling family get-togethers so Bobby and I could be there.  They wanted to have the entire family together and if that meant doing it on a different day than tradition, that was fine with them.  I so appreciated them for doing that.  I married into a huge family that had several events and for my family to take that into consideration, meant so much to me.  I’m not sure I ever told either of my parents that.  Always tell your parents why you appreciate them!  There comes a time (like today for me) that it’s too late.

Here now, as an adult and mother myself, I miss my mom.  I would listen to any of her crazy stories, allow her to pat me as much as she wants and would love to watch the Wizard of Oz in her lap again.

…I know there will be a day that I will long for my own children to be in my house together especially at Christmas.  I know I will get on their nerves with something I do and maybe one day I will tell stories to complete strangers that embarrass them too…

I pray most of all that no matter what… our relationships can always be good ones… no matter how much I love them or annoy them.

DON’T BE SELFISH AND HATEFUL…

Don’t let the time pass …don’t let your mom pass …

without letting her know that you love her, appreciate her and will miss her when she’s gone.

Be Nice or LEAVE

 

nice

My FB post from earlier:

We have to be around mean, uncaring, totally uncompassionate, arrogant, and brutally rude people sometimes and we still MUST keep our HAPPY WONDERFUL SUNSHINE AND SPRINKLES ATTITUDE.  I confess, I did not do a good job of that today.  Lord, please forgive me!

I hate to admit that my anger got the best of me today thanks to a horribly crass and, really, in my opinion, insane person.  I have to keep in mind that this person is unhappy, uninformed, demented and basically sick.  We feel sorry for those who are ill.  I am trying to turn my anger into sincere pity.  We pray for those who are diseased —and I’m doing my best to pray for this person.  God knows I’m struggling!

 

I love the sign above, but we all know that we HAVE to be around people that are not nice.   They will NOT leave.  You can’t successfully make them or even ask them politely to go away.  AND sometimes life makes it where you can’t separate yourself from the situation you are in with them at all–you are stuck.    I wish that sign would work, but in reality, we know it won’t.

Mean people like making your life miserable.  They enjoy being rude to others.  There may be some exceptions, but more times than not, mean, rude, inconsiderate people have fun making others angry by their words and actions.  These facts alone should motivate us to kill them with kindness, sprinkle them with happy dust and laugh in their presence no matter what they say or do.  I did not do that today.  I just wallowed in the ugliness of the situation which seemed to get darker and darker.  I thought ugly thoughts, made ugly faces and said things to my friends that I should have just kept to myself.   It was ugly.  It was most of all–evil!  I do not want to make the devil happy.

So, after all this, I sincerely ask God to forgive me.  I have also asked for strength to be able to keep positive no matter what!  I know I can do it with God.  I have to pray for mean people (especially the one that made me so crazy today) and keep my eye on what is good, happy, sweet, pretty, bright, noble and honorable AND NOT what is rude, negative, nasty, ugly, void of compassion and downright mean.

I will have a much better day tomorrow, because even if the mean won’t go away, I refuse to allow it to make my HAPPY leave.

 

The GOOD, the bad and the uuuuuggggly…

WARNING: SOAP BOX TIME!  

We are who we are because we choose to be.  NO MATTER WHAT… You CHOOSE to be the way you are–it is ALL UP TO YOU.

We start our lives like a blank slate.  We arrive ready to be influenced, molded and shaped.  Then, things happen to us.  We are well taken care of, or not.  We are surrounded with good friends or bad ones or maybe mediocre ones.  We have great parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts or we don’t really.  Some of us have circumstances in our lives that are just crazy, chaotic and evil.  We have people that abuse us and put us down.  We have people who use us or leave us out on purpose.  These things happen.  I am acknowledging it all.  I could make lists upon lists of things that happen to us–good, bad and ugly.

We all have  influences, circumstances, people and times.  We all have these good, bad and ugly times.  A lot of times, though,  we look at others’ lives and think they have it great and we don’t, but really, we don’t know their life.  We don’t know what happens in their homes and we don’t know what happens in their minds.  We don’t know their hearts.  We are only responsible for our own hearts.  We are not put here to compare ourselves to others.  We own our story, not others’.

Back to my point—the person you are, no matter what has happened to you in your life, is ALL UP TO YOU.

Don’t blame others for having a better life.  Don’t hurt those around you just because others have hurt you.   It’s important that we don’t get beat down by playing the victim in our lives.  I know we all have different stories and we have all been “victims” of something, but to stay labeled as a victim only allows whoever or whatever victimized us to continue to win daily.

EXAMPLE: If I were to CHOOSE to be an alcoholic–that would not be because my dad was an alcoholic.  I would CHOOSE that lifestyle.  I could not blame that on an alcoholic father or even some type of hereditary gene which says I’m more likely to be an alcoholic.  Everyone has something they may be more likely to be, BUT WHEN IT COMES RIGHT DOWN TO IT–IT IS YOUR CHOICE.

People use excuses all the time.  The media gives people excuses all the time.  Sometimes (and I’m not saying all the time, because I know there are certain situations that would be exceptions–but I believe they are very rare) people use excuses because they are too lazy to stand up and blame themselves.   They are too unwilling to get up and choose what is right.   They are so lacking of inner motivation that they blame it on someone else like their parents or even the government.  Geez.

We all (yes, EVERY ONE OF US) need to stop being- idle – indolent – sluggish – slothful – slack – AND step up and take responsibility for: who we are, where we are and what we have become.  I believe that once that happens, our lives, our society and our world will be a better place to live.

Once we have done that, we can be in a better position to help those around us.  It starts with YOU–yes YOU. (and me, of course) Allow the good, the bad AND the ugly to mold you, influence you and shape you into A RESPONSIBLE, A MORE ACCOUNTABLE AND UPSTANDING YOU.  (not a continuous blaming victim who can’t look past anything that has ever happened…come on—move on!!!)

TOMORROW’S POSSIBLE BLOG TOPIC: Influences and circumstances–they CAN be positive NO MATTER what they are…

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