Bro. Ken ♥

Death is natural.  We will all experience a physical death at some point in our lives.  It is something we get closer to each day.  We all know others around us are going to die.  Do all of these things make it easier?  Nope.  It’s just one of those things that stings.  It bites.  It gives us a pain that we cannot truly explain in words.

Death raises questions.  Why did they die?  Why was it their time?  Did they know Jesus?  Where are they now?  Why did this person die and some other person didn’t?  I’ve heard these questions, I’ve thought them.  I pray… asking God some of them.

Death is just not easy for us.  When I have someone close to me die, I get into a place in my mind, spirit and body that is just drab.  It’s not totally black, just a medium gray.  I understand that death is part of life, but I don’t have to like it.

If Adam and Eve could have just kept it together, it would be different right?  If we were just all in the garden like God meant for us to be, we’d all be happy and healthy all the time.  I’ve heard so many things blamed on those first two humans.  Poor Adam and Eve.  But really, God knew what was going to happen and still made them.  He knew that we would need a redeemer so we could be reunited with him.  Adam and Eve did mess it up, but God gave the whole of humanity a plan b!  An almighty back-up plan.  Wow!

A lot of times we make God our plan B which is so messed up.  He should be our first go to for everthing, BECAUSE of the plan B he created for us.  He should be the one we stay in constant contact with… because HE KNOWS what death does to us.  He knows the medium gray I’m talking about in my soul.  He is the best one who can breathe the life back into me.  He makes the sun shine again, the clouds puffy against that blue sky and all the beauty that makes our eyes widen.  He puts the sparkle in the sky and can wipe away all the tears which death may give us.  There’s a hole, a chasm, that is left in us when we lose someone we love, but God created a way for us to all be together again.  Through his great plan through Jesus.  It’s an awesome gift, all we have to do is recieve it.  Not work for it or run for it, but accept it.  With it, we can look to a better day, a nicer home (even compared to the beauty we see here) and know without a doubt that Jesus has created the way for us.  I take most comfort in that no matter what happens here on earth.

Today, we lost a great man here on earth.  I heard a wonderful lady say one time,(about her husband who had passed) I didn’t “lose” him, because I know exactly where he is.  We should all be able to feel this sentiment about Brother Ken Mills.  This man is certainly in the arms of Jesus.  He’s celebrating his life with Jesus now.  I know he heard those words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant…”  I know he’s not sad like we are here without his great preaching, his encouragement, his cuter than cute smile and little laugh that would be accompanied by a snort every once in a while.  We will miss him and not soon forget any of those things.  He had the best stories which would always be intertwined with scripture.  He led many to the Lord and pointed everyone (“Men, women and children,” he would say) he knew to the cross.  What a great legacy to live!

As I sit here and cry for the loss we feel here, especially those closest to him, I think about that legacy and how death for Bro. Ken is his great reward.

I pray that many will be drawn closer to God through this time of sorrow.  God is the best comforter and consoler.  Thank God! (for all)

 

Confessions of a Happy Person

My confession: I’m not always happy.

Yes, you most likely see me happy. I have the strength that can only come from the Lord, so that is my joy. Joy is a constant, but I could not have that without God. I like this definition of joy: a lasting, internal sense of deep contentment, gratitude, and fulfillment that transcends temporary happiness and external circumstances. —That kind of thing, I believe, can only come from a relationship with Jesus.

In my mind, there are times I struggle for peace. I cannot and do not confess this to people most times. Even to my closest people, they do not know what I wrestle with. I just choose not to share or perhaps burden them. Don’t get me wrong, I ask for prayer, I do reach out, but especially when I cannot understand circumstances or feelings, it is only my God who I turn to. He is the only one that reminds me that I’m never alone. His presence comforts me. Even when I do not know what to say, I know the Holy Spirit knows and speaks for me. ((When you don’t know what to pray for, the Holy Spirit intercedes for you with wordless groans, as described in Romans 8:26-27)) Wow.

It is crazy to me that people live without Him. BECAUSE, there are dark times. There are times of mass chaos, confusion and discontent. I could not go on without the constant Comforter.

I’ve been asked, “Why are you so happy?” Well, I’m not, but the reason you see my joy: God working through me. Thanking Jesus for the grace, God for his overall mercy and the Holy Spirit for His constant companionship.

This is WAR!

I know that the title of this blog is a bit fierce, but truly, traveling through this life here on earth is like going through a daily battle. Those battles add up to a life of war. War sounds horrible, but within our war, there is a peace that we can know when we cling to the strength that comes from the Lord. I know that sentence sounds like a couple of Bible verses mashed together. I meant it to be. I cannot imagine going through any daily battle without knowing that I’m going to be OK no matter what thanks to God and the living word of God. That is the way we can win the daily battle and victoriously go through the spiritual warfare.

I encourage you to pray. Pray for yourself. Pray for others–your family, your neighbor (literally), your coworker, boss, leaders in your area… the President (no matter what your opinion of them). Pray for those who slander you by saying you are things you aren’t. Pray for those people that just give you the creeps, those that stank-eye you and those who act ignorantly. So hard! I know! Always wield the sword of prayer. God knows what you need and want before you ask Him. He still wants you to ask. Communicate with The Almighty for yourself, for others and for those who perhaps many won’t. Be the one in the gap for those who need you to be. Ask the Holy Spirit to pray the prayers you can’t put together in words and keep on praying the best way you know how.

I know, if you are a Christian especially, you have heard all of this before. I heard it all for many years as well. I finally started getting as much of the Bible I could into my brain, talking to God all the time and not just when I was on my knees or before meals and focusing on the blessings He continues to send my way. Doing these things is essential to the fight. We will have the battles, the war will go on, but when you are ready for it with this super strength that only comes from the Lord, you can be victorious.

This is a blog to remind myself. Maybe it helps you too.

I must be reminded of these things. When crazy things happen around me that can’t be explained, I have to remember that the devil is alive and doing whatever he can to disrupt those who believe in Jesus. Some of the devil’s schemes include people claiming to be Christians, but doing the bidding of the devil. Other devil deeds are subtle while others are blatant and shocking. Either way, resisting the devil and focusing on Jesus must be talked about, thought about and done.

This is WAR!

That Peace

I am thinking back… I try not to think about it. I know it’s part of my story though, and a story others need to hear, because my God is so much bigger than any problem we have.

On May 7th of this year, I had a seizure. I’d never had one of those before. It was quite traumatic and nothing I would like to relive. But it was a warning, a symptom that needed to occur in order to start this journey.

When the seizure began, I was in a place where people could help me. So many people were in place. I totally believe God Himself stationed them. The ambulance was there in record time and I was transported to the hospital. After tests, it was concluded that I had a brain tumor. A sizable tumor on the top of the right side of my brain and it needed to come out.

The doctor came in and said, “It looks to be a benign tumor, but we will know for sure when I take it out.” Wow. I’m not sure I truly understood what he had said. The next thing he said, I heard a bit clearer. He said, “I take it out, if it’s benign, you are cured. If it’s the other, it will be disastrous.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. I might of felt a tear drop roll, but almost immediately what I felt was the presence of peace. God told me very quickly that it was all going to be ok. He didn’t say I would be cured or otherwise. He just gave me a peace that no matter what, I was going to be ok.

The surgery took four and a half hours. It was benign. I am cured. My recovery has definitely been a bit more than I had expected. I have to remind myself a lot that they had to open up my head!

It’s been over 6 months now. I still have daily head pain, but nothing that stays for long. My scar itches. There are other side effects that I continue to pray over. God’s peace and His face are what I seek the most. I am so thankful for His healing power and that peace.

That Tree

I want to be like THAT tree. 🌳❣️

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭17:7-8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Yes yes!!!

Please read carefully.

Dear June 4th, 2020 world,

It has taken me a while to write, for fear of saying something that will be wrong or worse, misconstrued, taken as something it’s not or stretched into something different. 

So, here I am, prayed up, praying while I’m doing this…

I am the wife of a good, good man.  He just happens to be a police officer and a white man.  My entire family is white.  I came from white parents, my grandparents were white, I’m white as they get. 

Does all this mean I don’t love people of color (is that the term I’m supposed to use? I am sorry if it’s not) and I am absolutely, exclusively a white-lover? Let me answer that with more information…

I cannot sit here as a white-as/they-get woman and tell anyone of a different color that I understand their plight. I can only tell you where I stand and how I hope to help this world change.

I am a Christian. I follow Christ who is love. Love is my above all FAVORITE. Peace is a close second, but actually they both go hand in hand. As for love, I want to show love, I want to be loved, I want people around me to feel they are immensely loved no matter how they look or even act (the act part is the hardest to get passed especially when we are treated less than wonderful —I know, you know what I’m saying). I want others to know that I love them. I love them, because God made them. On top of that, I want them to know Jesus and experience a love that is far better than any other found on this earth. It’s an amazing love that surpasses our understanding even on those days that we are feeling our smartest. Although it’s so complex and hard to understand or grasp, it’s also so very simple. It’s a simple gift that all we have to do is accept. What a crazy concept, right? No strings, no, “Here’s yours, where’s mine.” –concept… It’s free! And not only is it free, but it frees you! It prompts us to love others in that exact same way. Jesus went to a cross for us. I’m not saying I am willing to do that for you (that would take a whole other level of commitment…wow!), but I am willing to go above and beyond to show you love. I will never be at Jesus’ status, but I will strive all my life to show kindness, humility, empathy, sympathy and most of all, LOVE (love goes with all the former listed, I believe). When we can all do everything with a love that is bigger than ourselves, this world will change in every aspect we would like to see it change. It’s not about what politician you think is correct, it’s not about what color your skin is, what you do for a living, how you were raised, where you are on whatever status ladder you look at…it’s about treating others as you want them to treat you. Do I want others to stand up for me, to protect me, to support and help me? Why yes, yes I do! (note: we can help each other without totally agreeing) Then I must do that for others. If we can ALL do this for each other, what an awesome world this would be! It must start with you, not the other one who did you wrong. You can’t make them change. You can only control how you act yourself so, why not start there!?

So, in saying all of this, I hope I answered that first question up there.

I love everyone, because Jesus first loved me. 

I want everyone to get that gift and hold it in their heart forever. 

So, when we do leave this crazy world which isn’t our true home anyway, we can all be unified singing God’s praises together. 

Sincerely,

A concerned, yet covered by the blood of Jesus Christ, citizen of earth.

Why are you crying?

Are you an emotional person?  Do you wear your emotions on the outside no matter what those emotions may be?  Do you cry at the Hallmark Commercials or perhaps the Humane Society ones?  Are you THAT person?

I am not!  I am usually quite a non-emotional sharing or showing kind of person.  I have on occassion cried pretty quick because I was angry or hurt by those kind of words that are sword-like. I don’t cry instantly when I see cute little puppies or gaze upon a beautiful sunrise or sunset.  I do appreciate those kind of scenes, but have never been the type to get misty-eyed or snot-nosed very quickly.

Well, scratch all of that!  My current situation: I have been away from my job as a teacher for going on five weeks.  Including Spring Break, this is the sixth week coming up that I’ve been away from my students, my classroom and my adult friends who I share the love of students with.  I feel like a little two year old right now in the middle of the cereal isle at that exact moment when mom has told me I cannot have those Fruity Pebbles!  I want to throw myself onto the floor, kick, scream and cry like I’ve been deprived of something I know I must have!

I cry daily now.  I do believe I have cried more in the last month than I have in my entire adult life.  Ok, maybe I exaggerate a little.  A little!

I miss everything about my routine from 6 weeks ago… from getting my keys out to opening the door to my classroom, from going to the teachers lounge to greeting my students when we open up the lesson together.  I miss my happy place desk which I have adorned with every reminder that this life is good:  from smiley faces to scripture, from happy notes from my students to crazy little sculptures and stickers that found their way on my monitor, desk, printer, wall, etc.  A perfectly organized person would not be able to sit at my happy place and I like it that way.  I love the explosion of happy thoughts and bright vibes that plaster that wonderful room I call my classroom.

I cry daily now.  Some people don’t get it.  My own family doesn’t get it.  They look at me and say, “Why are you crying?”  They aren’t used to me having a make-up melt down.  That is if I’ve decided to wear make-up that particular day.  I’m definitely saving money in that area right now.  While make-up is a daily option, I do still brush my teeth regularly.  I must!  Dental hygiene is something I have never lacked in, not ever!

I now cry when I get a sweet email from a student, when someone asks if I miss teaching or if they even refer to a memory of “the good ole days” which were only 6 weeks ago.  I am a mess!  I am not at all accustomed to crying all of the time.  I haven’t seen a Hallmark commercial yet, but I know it’s coming.  I cannot watch anything that doesn’t get me going on some part.  My husband and I have been going walking in the early morning and when that sun starts breaking through those morning clouds, the misty eyes begin.  Some of that has been the addition of the chilliness of the mornings, that is tough on the eyes, but I feel the emotions there as well.  The big huge puffy white clouds in the awesome Texas blue sky get me feeling it.  A Facebook article about anything sweet or sad starts it going.  A beautiful green meadow with ugly cows chewing their cudd makes my chest a little heavy.  It’s the beauty of life that has got me.  Not because I think cows chewing are actually so pretty it is emotional, but the actual gratefulness that I feel for all of these things God has created for us.  In the Bible it says we will know Him because of all the things he has created.  He has provided all for us!

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. -Romans 1:20

So, my emotions are coming from overwhelming gratitude, for sure.  And also, from the loss of things that were.  You know they say, “You never know what you have until it’s gone.”  I’m right there in the middle of that.  I mean, I always KNEW I loved my job.  I have always been thankful for the place God has placed me in my vocation.  I love what I do.  So, not being able to do all of the things that go with the positions of Art teacher and Student Council Advisor has me all kinds of emotional!  I miss all the things that went along with my job.  As I mentioned above, I miss my happy classroom place, I miss my friends, I miss my students, I miss my daily routine!  So, thanks to all the overwhelming gratitude and the loss of what we called “normal,” I get asked a lot here lately,

“Why are you crying?”

 

Kindness Journal

I really cannot say enough good stuff about Character Strong and all of the things they offer to help lead and highlight THE GOOD STUFF.

This video is day 15 of a 30 day series they have started on keeping a Kindness Journal.  I love the prompts they send out everyday.  It’s just another way to do something POSITIVE each day.

Face it people, we need to be reminded that there is still good circulating in this world.  This is just another way of staring that good.

Let’s be kind.  Let’s help others see the good.

 

Lemons into Lemonade

Help me people!  I need some good news.  I need some light at the end of the tunnel! You thinking the same thing?  We have got to keep on keepin’ on, but sometimes it’s just hard.  Real hard.

We are in a crisis as a country, as a planet right now.  This COVID-19 thing has put bars up in front of our homes, chains around our hugging arms and a fear that, if you let it, will disable you in many, many ways.

I’m in the midst of changing the way I teach and communicate with my students.  You may be in the same boat.  Or perhaps you are an “Essential”  and are needed at work.  Worse… perhaps you have been laid off from your job or fired completely.  I’m so sorry.  Serious.  These are some serious times.  We have got to get back up and into our lives.  And not like our lives were before this.  We need to better for it.  We need to persevere and press on, learn and be a better person when this is over.  If we can all do that, wow, what a great way to put this crazy time behind us.  We can be victorious!  We can each cause a ripple of wonderfulness right where we are.  But while we are trying to get through the present,  if you are like me, you feel like you’ve been put on pause like an old VCR tape (yep, I’m from THAT era).  In this pause, or whatever you want to refer to it as, we have got to look to the good stuff.  I’m not talking about double loaded cheese fries.  I’m talking about the stuff that makes us perk up.  The stuff that makes our hips do a little wiggle, our hearts swell a little and our mind brighten up.

Let’s help each other get through this!

I love this video that Matthew Mcconaughey posted the other day.  It is pretty much my exact sentiments… all the way down to the lemons.  Take a minute and 23 seconds to watch this:

Let’s help each other do this… Take care of yourself, Take care of others, UNITE!  Don’t get paranoid.  Take precautions.  Let’s do this!  Turn a red light into a green light.  And yep, lemons into Lemonade!  We can do this!

Things we can do now: Reach out to your neighbors and let them know you are praying for them.  Send someone a piece of HAPPY MAIL (a note, card or piece of toilet paper with a heart on it!).  Send someone a text out of the blue that maybe you haven’t been in touch with in a while.  Call your mom, dad, uncle, aunt, etc. and let them know you truly love them.  Make some cookies (cake or casserole) for your in-laws.  Paint someone a picture even if you’re not the best painter.

And take care of yourself… Play happy music all the time.  Open the Bible AND read it.  Wear good shoes. Sit on the porch and listen to the birds as early as you can get up in the morning.  Take a hot bath.  Bask in the sun like a fat dog.

Focus on the good. Do good stuff.  Show others the good.

♥

JUST THINK

Things you can’t undo…

You can’t un-scramble an egg so, make sure that is how you want to eat it. 

You can’t un-ring a bell so make sure you ring it for a good reason. 

You can’t un-kiss someone so be sure you want to and should kiss them. 

You can’t un-say something so watch your mouth.  Especially when it’s something mean or negative, you cannot take it back or suck it back into your head. It’s out there. Sure, you can ask for forgiveness, but the forgiveness is not up to you. Right? 

Beware of your decisions. Think before you react hastily. Think hard before you lash out. JUST THINK. 

When you do make those life decisions that have derailed your life or caused such heavy guilt you can barely breath, remember, you must move forward and not get stuck in that moment. Perhaps you’ve totally messed everything up, but stop, ask for forgiveness, forget it, put it behind you and keep moving forward. 

Don’t EVER look back. 

We cannot use the backspace key for life’s decisions. You can’t erase it, but you can’t let it make its mark on your present or ruin your future. 

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:13-14‬ ‭KJV‬‬